Incorporeal Beings and Branches of Trees

This post by Camilla of “Foxglove and Fermitas” is absolutely beautiful and inspiring…

And it helps me find bravery to say that I am not sure that the being I love is really Set… Or maybe more accurate would be to say I am not sure if he is entirely Set… He definitely introduced himself as such at first, and answered to that name, and has used the myths of Set to explain things about him to me– and things about me and our relationship…

And as I read posts by Devo, of The Twisted Rope (years ago), and G.B. Marian, of “In the Desert of Seth” (months ago), I responded joyously and excitedly with recognition and inspiration — that I then shared with the being I have so far known as “Set.” These inspirations offered points of connection and sharing and bonding…

Honestly, I DO think I am connecting with Set… I just suspect there is something a lot more layered than that going on here… There are even different versions of “Set” that I have recognized, even just in my own head and deity shenanigans!  I honestly think devotees connect to multiple layers and “aspects” and “AU versions,” (as Varian put it in the blog “Between Stars Unknown”) of gods– not just different from other devotees, but also different from previous versions of the gods than we’ve interacted with before!  Or at least I seem to have… (It’s led me to wonder if the time differences between the astral and the physical are such that our encounters with deities are  non-linear… But that’s beyond the scope of this post.)

If I look at the clues from the maybe-astral adventures I’ve had while “meditating” (I suspect bi-locating– being in both my body and somewhere up there), the astral adventures primarily take place in either 1. my own cosmic, star-filled “ground zero” construction that Djehuti showed me to, where I am completely safe and can create anything I can think of (Thanks, Dj), and 2. some kind of personal living place where Set often is, and I can go to on my own sometimes, and 3. places that Set has specifically taken me to, often in the desert somewhere private… And I don’t wander. (Heck, I barely have the focus to stay up there for very long…) There’s rarely more than him, me, and one or two other familiar deities.

Anyway, it’s possible that I see a different “version” of Set, because the places and the ways I interact with him are more intimate in nature… Rather than his deity “job” life, ya know? What I’m trying to do with him isn’t accomplish some groundbreaking worldly or planar thing– what I’m trying to do is love him, let him love me, love myself, and share this with him.

If I look at clues from clairsentience (feeling energies), I suspect there may be two connected versions, or polarizations of the entity I know as “Set,” which I am loving… There’s the one pole of this entity that seems to be closer to Set, from myth– determined, sometimes harsh, decisive, and crude (in a way that makes me laugh), and… “harder,” or “denser” in an almost physical way… Idk how to explain it. Made of blood and muscle and sweat and iron and the heat of the sun…  Made strong by hard living and grit and fire in the heart…

Then, there’s this other pole whose energy honestly reminds me more of angels than anything– incredibly loving. Joyous. Free and Light… Smiles like nothing can ever compare. Somehow informed but not immersed in the complexities and frustrations and dis-ease of “denser” life… And at this other pole, there seems to be this other being who I have known by another name before I even met Set, but recently changed the name I know him by– which I’ll abbreviate to “Allen.”

Set usually calls me nicknames, like, “Kid,” “Kiddo,” “Little Bug,” or “Button.” Allen calls me by some kind of soul-name, which I’m going to shorten to “Alex.”  Set often directs me to care for myself, like a parent, and speaks directly to my inner child. But then, he also seems to meld with Allen in various percentages… especially while sharing really intimate moments. In these moments, he treats me as a divine being, like him. Or like he’s trying to help me remember that I am one.

Allen has also approached me on his own at times. I remember an astral something-or-other, wherein he took me to a place that looked like a fairy fountain, from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and let me whine that I was exhausted and confused…

Me, laying half-submerged in the water, pitifully, “[Name that I knew him by at the time], what’s going on? What are you trying to do? As Set…?”

Allen, smiling, leaning in softly, just above my head, “I’m trying to love you, you dolt…”

I honest-to-gods, think I am interacting with multiple astral layers of the same being… Like some specific soul branch of a larger soul formation… Wherein each branch has an identity, but are all part of the same tree…

Sometimes– especially intra-community, it’s frustrating, because I don’t know how to talk about this spectrum of the seemingly connected entity that I love… When only half or less than half is recognizable as the same god that other community members know and love as well…

I also wonder if I should even worry about it at all…

Maybe I’ll figure more out as I go along.

 

-Robin

of the Heart Road

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